BOOM, space. (A Lenten Theme)

Lent has been over for a couple weeks now, and we’ve since moved into the glorious season of Easter. Because our blog was down during most of that time, I wanted to share a bit about my Lenten theme of creating space. Across the board, this is a pretty general theme and one I think we should all embrace during the season of Lent. As we’ve been preparing to move to New Zealand, this Lenten season seemed busier than ever. Full of our regular weekly/daily/monthly activities + trying to add coffee catch-ups or dinners with friends + speaking engagements at churches, slowing down didn’t seem feasible. I decided to put forth conscious and intentional effort to create space.
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1) First, I looked at my calendar to see where and how I spent most of my time. I noticed a large chunk of it was spent preparing for, teaching, and driving to and from yoga classes. I decided to continue teaching Holy Yoga twice a week, and quit the other three prenatal classes + breastfeeding support group I was leading. Being a part of this particular studio family has been such a blessing to me over the last couple years, but I felt like a new chapter was unfolding for me. As bittersweet as it was, I ended my time there. BOOM, space.
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2) Second, I examined how I was spending all those free minutes waiting in line somewhere, waiting for someone to text me back, or just killing five minutes before a meeting or event started. The result? I found I was spending a lot of time on social media. I’m certain I’m not the only one who has noticed what a time-sucker (“space-destroyer”, if you will) social media is! Five minutes several times a day can really add up, and instead of spending those minutes mindlessly scrolling through other people’s “news”, comparing myself to others, or just “checking out” of what I should be doing in that present moment, I decided to transform those minutes by reading through the daily office prayer app, or simply engaging with my dear children. BOOM, space.
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3) This third area where space was created was unintentional on my part. (Shoutout to my Creator for closing doors that need to be closed!) I had enrolled in another seminary course for the Spring quarter but as the first week began, I quickly realized I was enrolled in the on-campus version instead of online. On-campus classes are held in Pasadena, CA so there was no way I could continue in this class and, according to the registrar, there was no way to get switched over to the online version. No longer would I spend Monday afternoons doing homework and evenings reading textbooks. I will say this creation of space was harder for me to deal with because my husband was still spending long hours writing papers, responding to forum posts, and reading textbooks. Honestly, I haven’t found a great alternative for “homework time” and seem to have filled this time simply, by sitting on the couch and resting. What began as a disappointment has turned into a blessing. BOOM, space.
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4) My yoga practice always helps to make space in my body. Creating length in side bends, releasing the lower back in a forward fold, or opening the heart/chest in cow pose all help create space. Moving from teaching 5 classes per week to only 2 has made me be more intentional in my practice. BOOM, space. I’m reminded me of the importance of sequencing postures to open up the body; it helps give me an image of the Holy Spirit LITERALLY inhabiting the space I’ve created. Not inward-focused, but outward-oriented. Filled with the Spirit, so we can love others better.
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Here’s to moving forward through Eastertide with an openness for redemption, resurrection, celebration, renewal, and freedom.
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Peace,
Abigail

Sunday Confessional: Finding Balance

I confess that finding balance is hard. We’ve taken a (what was supposed to be brief) hiatus from our Sunday Confessional posts until we got back into the swing of things and created a routine for our new normal. We intentionally enjoyed the advent and Christmas seasons, not taking on any new responsibilities, simply spending time with family and getting over jet lag. Apparently we were still adjusting because our blogging hiatus lasted all the way through Lent and Easter!
We returned to Kansas City from Northern Ireland in December and it feels like we’ve been in a constant state of “finding balance” ever since we stepped foot on that first plane. So far John has already started and resigned from one job, and been hired for two others. I’ve started working as a postpartum doula and a yoga instructor, neither of which I had planned on doing 6 months ago. We were in a bit of a sweet spot when we returned to Kansas City, just because we had the chance to start over with our involvement. Responsibilities we had assumed we’d take on when we started our life back up in KC have either proved to be too much too soon, or they very clearly don’t fit in with the path God has set before us.
I’ve written things into my planner and crossed so many of them out
that it has become difficult to read. 
All that to say, our life looks totally different now than when we lived in Kansas City before. This process of finding a new “normal” has been challenging and emotionally taxing. I constantly ask myself, “What am I supposed to be doing?!”, which is probably not the right question. It seems like everyone else wants to know what we’re going to do next but this is a stressful question for me! I know what I am going to do today, and that’s about it. It’s important for me to remind myself who I’m supposed to be serving in this life. What is my ultimate goal? Knowing the answer to this helps me choose daily what is of greatest importance.
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I taught yoga twice this week and in both classes I ended with my students resting their hands on their knees, palms facing up, representing a willingness to receive whatever comes their way this week. This does not mean overloading our schedules, taking on too many responsibilities, overcommitting ourselves, and feeling swamped or exhausted. This is about taking time to decide how to best approach the upcoming week.
Which responsibilities can be let go?
What things are calling us to dig deeper?
How can we be more involved in the good things
and let the extra/unimportant things fall by the wayside?
Maintaining balance takes intentionality. This is true in yoga and in life. Find your “drishti”, your focal point, and set your intention on balance. Let’s not focus too much on ourselves, but on expressing our love in an outward manner.
(Thanks to Pastor Tim Suttle and his blog for inspiring us to make our own confessional posts every week. Check out his site here)